They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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