Can Purell be used as lube?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
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