Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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