I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We are two peas in an std pod
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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