We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
