Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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