Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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