the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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