And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
