Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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