Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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