I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
