At least make sure they are 18
Why
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
