I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
