Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
