So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
