i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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