Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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