We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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