What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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