God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
