I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
