he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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