Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
