sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
accomplished twins. life is a go
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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