he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
