you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
