My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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