I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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