how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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