Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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