Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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