I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
