did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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