I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
false alarm. still invincible.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
