Already got asked if we're dating
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
