you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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