I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
