I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
