let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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