I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize