erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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