Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize