This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
tell me about the eggs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
