Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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