Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
