And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
