Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
