You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize