you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Text me some of your sweat
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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