Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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