This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
