you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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