I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Enjoy the penises
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
