im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
