I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
