VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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