RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I need a burrito and a hug.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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