doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
