During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize