Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
