i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
