so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
