Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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