i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
