I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
