Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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